February 2012
27 posts
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Week Of blahness
I have been working overtime every single day at my city job till 4:30 AM and still making it in to the poopy Randazzo’s job at 8AM while still trying to factor in studying time at both places because I have a huge exam tomorrow that I’m only 70% ready for and I’m just so tired that I want to sleep for days.
THANK BATMAN that it’s suppose to Snow like crazy tonight...
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"Si Quæris Peninsulam Amœnam Circumspice"
If you seek a pleasant peninsula look about you
Whenever I Skype with Amber I always get filled with Michigan Pride even though it’s soooo boring here and we hated it when she lived here still.
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So TJ How'd you spend your day?
Well I’m pretty sure I threw my back out vomiting.
Ahhhhhhh! I have the flu and I feel like I'm dying
I’m emetophobic and I hate this more than anything right now.
Doing tax stuff and FASFA stuff @ my mom's
Mom: Yelling at the printer and the manila folders. Ahhh it's one of those days TJ
Me: Where we sacrifice a virgin to great Egyptian god Imhotep
Mom: He's the really good looking mummy right
Me: Yes
Mom: Then yes
Me: I'll go look for a virgin
Mom: Actually even though he is the good looking one can we do it tomorrow night because I'm just to tried to enjoy him tonight.
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“Politicians all now have to pretend not to be racists. Despite the fact that...”
– Frankie Boyle [MTW]
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Crashed at my mom's house between jobs
[My mom is in love with Bravo and the housewives, she is a huge gay man]
Me: I can't beilve they need two hours for a housewives reunion when they haven't even been off the air for a week.
Mom: There's three parts the third one comes on monday at nine.
Me: I don't think you're allowed to watch Bravo if you vote republican
Mom: Why not?
Me: I don't think Andy Cohen would like that very much
Mom: Why not how much money do you think Andy Cohen has?
Me: Are you implying that he's a republican just because he has money?
Huge decision to make, and I'm a little nervous
…Okay I’m scared as hell. I’m not use to not trusting myself, I’m comfortable with not trusting anybody else but most of the time I know who I am.
As in all major life choices I use professional help to find some encouragement. Disney movies.
“If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet you’ve got to pay the toll. Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and...
TXT with the BFF who currently lives in Louisiana
Amber: Skype after work? or is it a late shift?
Me: Work till 3AM
Amber: Awee snap okay
Me: I can Skype after work tomorrow I only work till 7
Amber: Okay it's a date daaahhling
Me: Ohhhhh my first date with a pretty girl I'll wear my best panties
Amber: Great I won't wear any. Someone has to, might as well be you
Me: Mine are slightly prettier than yours
Amber: yeah, that is correct.
I have never in my life worn a white belt before,...
I bought an awesome metal bat symbol belt buckle which came with a free belt and the 19yo roommate needed a new white belt for his superman belt buckle [don’t ask me why he only wears it with a white belt] so I let him take my free belt however it doesn’t fit him so he threw it in my room and now it’s the only belt i own that fits my waist with this buckle.
TJ you're sad because you spent all day in bed...
…make myself cinnamon crazy bread from the little caesars pizza kit I just ordered and eat my feelings.
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My next tattoo
Me: I want a TARDIS
David's Friend: I have no idea what that is
Me: It's from Doctor Who, the longest running science fiction show ever it stands for Time and relative dimension in space
DF: No clue
Me: It's what the doctor uses to travel through time and space mainly it's a British call box
DF: You might as well be speaking Greek to me
Me: It uses time lord technology, it's bigger on the inside
David: So am I
January 2012
100 posts
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You don't realize how lonely you are until you...
Thankfully Motorcity just finished installing The Dark Knight casino game and since I’m up $200 I’m gonna go test my luck in the battle for the heart of Gotham City
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I know I'm a fatty because
when I woke up this morning I could smell the oreo on my desk that I forgot to eat last night and instantly devoured it.
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“I like all religions if you have some problem in your life and you use religion...”
– Simon Amstell
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Russell Howard's Good News and baking brownies
my Friday is set
“We need to drink more the reason why you’re depressed is because we...”
– David [Always knows how to cheer me up]
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The entire time I was at my brother's swim meet
Me: [Anything I said or did]
Mom: Shhhhh You're so embarrassing
Me: That's why I'm here
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“Something in your eyes was so inviting
Something in your smile was so exciting...”
– “Strangers in the Night”
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I woke up early this morning
to try and motivate myself out of this weird funk I’ve been in for a few a weeks. and to keep me from spending all day in bed doing nothing except watching British shows in my underwear. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea since waking up early just gave me more time to realize I’m single and have almost no friends…
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Me and my mother should never talk about politics
[stopped off at my moms house on my break to get some soda and sweets]
Me: What are you watching?
Mom: Tabitha's salon take over, why did you want to watch something?
Me: I just wanted to see if the state of the union address was still on I caught most of it at work but I wanted to see the end
Mom: Yeah he talks nice and all but he never follows through
Me: He inherited eight years of stupidity
Mom: I understand that but he's just not doing a very good job
Me: Yeah me and David were talking about how we were going to keep you from voting republican this year, I plan on just roofying you
Mom: I voted Democratic last year it's not gonna happen again for at least another 10 years
Me: ...you're a low income, single mother of three Hispanic children, you work a city job and are part of a union. Republicans hate EVERYTHING about you.
Mom: Unless they get a smart woman I won't vote Democratic
Me: I know it's your religion, but Jesus was a carpenter who stood up against greedy tax collectors and provided free health care with his miracles frankly even he would vote democratic.
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Biggest problem of my adult life right now
I can find my Pokemon gold, yellow, blue, red, silver and ruby but I HAVE NO IDEA where my white version is and I just tore my room apart looking for it. why, seriously why can’t I find it?
“If swimming is so good for you then why are whales so fat?”
– Russell Howard (via little-russellhoward-things)
David's sex life
David: So I just asked him if he could host, but I don't know why I don't have more guys over
Me: You could
David: But I told you my room makes people depressed, when they walk in here it's always "oh I don't feel like it" now when I have sex in your room it's always good, they guys even say "wow you like comics"
Me: I can't believe you're getting better sex because I like comics
David: That's very closed minded of you
Me: I also don't know why I'm not more offended about you have sex in my bed
David: Conditioning, It's become the new norm, now take this cigarette and sit in the corner
Everything good I ever learned in my life I...
at 11 he taught me how to put a condom on
at 12 he took me to Canada and taught me about people
at 13 I began to adopt his sense of humor and comedic timing
at 14 he taught me how to drink
at 15 he taught me more about reading people
at 16 he taught me that we’re assholes but people like us because for some reason most people do want to hear the truth
at 17 he taught me how to drive...
